I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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