he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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