addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
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It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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