Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
