Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
