fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i think my cat just said my name.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.