Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We are two peas in an std pod
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me