i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight