So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.