Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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