Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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