we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
