would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
