Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't turn off my feet"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
