she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
