Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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