Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
