look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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