I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
