You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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