my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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