Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
