ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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