So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
