When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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