it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize