Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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