I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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