I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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