i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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