hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
