So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
