I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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