eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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