sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
