i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize