NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
where are my eyebrows?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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