question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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