Got a toothbrush?
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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