I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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