ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
