I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
