i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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