dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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