Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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