Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...