Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
bring money and cleavage
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover