hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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