forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
