but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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