come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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