I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
