how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
