I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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