my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
