mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
