it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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