fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
